The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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