I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
