i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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