On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
a search helicopter?!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
