So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he thought i was a dude.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize