No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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