And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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