Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We have started to decorate penises.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
