I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
