Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
