I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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