after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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