apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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