Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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