Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Blood and glitter go together right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
