you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
