How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
