never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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