if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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