I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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