there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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