is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
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He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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