We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
