It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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