i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
