Me. At least after what I've been through.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
