I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So squirting runs in the family.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize