I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Thank you for not boning my boss.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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