you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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