well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
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I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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