dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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