Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
