I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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