First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She has the best kind of daddy issues
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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