Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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