someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
