is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
