yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
