So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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