Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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