Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize