Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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