"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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