Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
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