Plan B is the new Plan A
her vagine was all disorganized.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
