so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
