JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
