u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
