if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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