Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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