Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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