Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
