im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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