Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I lost the right to judge tonight
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
