these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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