i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
