Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
