i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
