DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
