I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
