oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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