so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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